


I know I'll always be safe with you

by writingformadderton



Category: Rocketman (2019)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dealing With Loss, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fainting, Fear of Death, M/M, Memories, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:28:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23630038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingformadderton/pseuds/writingformadderton
Summary: Taron loses his best friend to a car accident and sinks into a deep sadness. It’s a rough time for him and Richard, who tries to guide him through it. Taron tends to forget to take care of himself when he is sad and it escalates when Richard comes back home from a shoot.
Relationships: Taron Egerton/Richard Madden
Kudos: 7





	I know I'll always be safe with you

**Author's Note:**

> This can be seen as a sequel to "Don't let the sun go down on me" from our fic series Rocketman- Based on our fantasy. Have a lovely day :)

Taron’s fingers are shaking heavily as he takes a deep draw of his cigarette. “Fuck.” he mumbles and leans against the cold brick wall of the house. He’s shaking and he doesn’t know if it’s because of the cold or because of all the emotions he feels. His vision is blurred and there’s a loud ringing tone in his ear, like every time the stress level in his body becomes too much.

The door behind him opens and his boyfriend steps out onto the balcony. “Jesus christ, T. You’re gonna catch a cold out here.” Richard wraps his arms around himself and shivers. The whole city is covered in snow and it’s freaking cold, but Taron sits outside with a thin sweater on, which was strange because Taron is always freezing.

“Don’t care.” he just says and stares at the falling snow.

Rich frowns and takes a step towards him. What was wrong? He sees the smoke coming out of Taron’s mouth as he takes another draw. “Thought you quit?” Richard says and frowns slightly. What happened today?

“Things change.” Taron states and inhales the smoke deeply shaking slightly.

Rich lies his hand on Taron’s shoulder and looks down at him. “Are you alright?” he asks unnecessarily knowing he isn’t.

“No.” Taron grabs his hand and sighs. He feels his throat getting tight and the tears well up in his eyes again.

Richard wraps his arms around him from behind and rests his chin on Taron’s shoulder. “Wanna talk about it?” T shakes his head and presses his lips together. “That’s okay.” Rich assures him and takes the cigarette out of Taron’s hand, putting it out. He presses a kiss to his cheek and Taron grabs his hands in front of his chest. “I’m here.”

“Please promise me you’ll take care whenever you’re driving somewhere.” Taron suddenly says and his voice is shaking.

Richard frowns and pulls back a bit. “What?”

Taron turns towards him and his blueish green eyes are brimming with tears. “Please.”

Richard nods quickly. “I promise.” he watches Taron confused and takes his hand. “Is it because of my car accident a few months ago, love?” he softly strokes over Taron’s knuckles and bites his lip. Seems like Taron gave everything to make him feel better but forgot to deal with it himself.

Taron shakes his head and a tear falls down his cheek. “A friend of mine died in a car accident yesterday. His brother called me twenty minutes ago.” he finally explains and stares down on his lap.

Richard sits down heavily on the chair next to his boyfriend. “Shit, T. I’m so sorry.” he rambles and looks over to him.

Taron just shrugs his shoulders and presses his lips together. “And yes, I’m thinking about yours again. I-.” he bites his lip and tries to hold back his crying. “I still have this picture of you lying in my lap full of blood and nearly passing out while vomiting. I-I could have lost you back then.” he says and tears roll down his cheeks. The thought of it terrifies him daily since then and he still gets nervous whenever Rich is driving.

“I’m sorry love, I promise I’ll take care.” he assures him and grabs his hand. His thumb rubs soft circles over his knuckles.

“The thing is… you did and a car just crashed into you out of nowhere. You were innocent and paid for it by getting a concussion, fear and nightmares.” Taron rubs his face and takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Rich. Don’t wanna cause any painful memories.”

"Let’s get inside, huh?“ he asks after a while and T gets up while sniffing. Richard closes the balcony door behind them and tries to sort his thoughts. What should he say or do that would make Taron feel better? He looks at T and sees him shaking and starting to cry. “Come here, love.” Richard says and opens his arms, welcoming Taron in a warm hug. The Welsh buries his face in his neck and starts sobbing while holding tightly onto Rich. Richard remains silent while rubbing his back and tries to comfort him a bit. This wasn’t something that would be okay again, that wouldn’t get better. It was just over and T had to live with it. “I’m so sorry, darling.” he whispers.

“Not your fault, Rich.” Taron mumbles and presses himself closer to Rich, needing his touch and comfort now. The scent of his cologne, his warm breath against his tremble, his back beneath his fingertips. His safe place where he can let down his defenses and show his feelings without being judged. He stops sobbing and looks up at him. Staring into Richard’s blue eyes, he feels fear creeping up. “I don’t wanna lose you too.” he finally speaks and feels relieved.

Richard swallows hard and tries to blink away his own tears. Seeing Taron crying makes him emotional every time. “You won’t. I’m here.” he says and looks deeply into Taron’s sad puppy dog eyes.

“But for how long?” Taron chokes out and tears fall down his cheeks again. He shakes his head and presses his lips together. “I’m such an idiot.” he groans and lets go of Richard.

“You’re not an idiot.” Richard says and watches him carefully. Knowing he has to watch his words, he bites his lower lip. Anything he says could make Taron sad, mad, or whatever.

“Yes I am.” Taron says loudly and turns away from Rich for a second.

“Taron.”

“What?!” he shouts at the top of his lungs and turns towards him again. “My best friend died and I’m here worrying about us. I should be ashamed of myself for fucks sake! He doesn’t deserve someone like me.” his breathing got quicker and his hands are now curled up into fists. His whole body is trembling with anger and sadness and big tears fall down from his face.

Richard takes a deep breath and rubs his face. How should he calm Taron down and tell him that it’s okay to be sad and confused or worried about others? “It’s okay. You are sad right now, just let it out.”

Taron buries his face in his hands and shakes his head. “No, no, no. I don’t want to. I want him back.” he whines. Suddenly Taron jumps towards the wall and punches his fist into it. “Fuck!” he does it over and over again.

“T, stop.” Richard says seriously and walks closer to him. His boyfriend continues to punch the wall and curse. “Taron! Stop it!” he shouts and wraps his arms around him from behind. T squirms in his arms and tries to free himself. Rich pulls him away from the wall and tries to calm him down. “Taron, stop. You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

T shakes his head and starts punching his arm. “Let go of me!” he starts crying heavily again.

Richard turns him towards him and holds him at his shoulders rocking him slightly. “Taron! Look at me.”

Taron just shakes his head and tries to get away from him again. He tries to get some distance between them and slaps Richard in the face by accident. T immediately stops fighting against his grip and looks down at the floor shocked. “I’m sorry.” he presses out.

"Look at me.“ he says urgently and tries to calm his own racing heart. His cheek is burning, but he blends out the pain completely, focusing on his upset lover. T slowly lifts his head and Richard looks into deep blueish green eyes that are filled with tears. “Don’t you ever do that again.” he pants a little and takes a step back. “You hear me?”

“I’m sorry Rich, I didn’t want to hurt you.” Taron says quietly and wipes away his tears.

“What? No, I didn’t mean that. Look at your fucking hand!” Richard says and grabs his hand to show it to him.

“Oh.” T stares down at his destroyed hand. His fingers are open and bleeding. The shock leaves his body a bit and he feels a sharp pain in his whole hand. “Shit.” he mumbles and contorts his face.

“Okay.” Richard sighs and rubs his face. “Let me take care of this.” he says and pulls Taron behind him into the bathroom. He turns on warm water and holds Taron’s hand underneath it, washing away the blood. Richard cleans his hands and wraps a gauze around it to keep it from getting dirty. As soon as Rich finishes, Taron buries his face in his hands and starts sobbing again. “Come here.”  
This time T lets him and buries his face in his chest. “I’m sorry, Rich.”  
“It’s okay, bub.” Richard assures him and rubs his back softly trying to calm him a bit. They stay like that for a while until T stops crying and just leans against Rich completely exhausted.

On this particular night, Richard lies awake for a while because he wants to be sure that Taron is sleeping in peace. After what feels like hours, Taron finally falls asleep and turns calmer. Richard allows himself to drift away to sleep.

Suddenly a really loud crash can be heard and Richard wakes up rapidly, not knowing what it was. Then he hears the heavy rain and the light flashes shortly through their bedroom. Okay, just thunder, he thinks to himself. He wants to drift back to sleep again when he hears Taron turning around letting out a whine. Richard sits up and turns on the little bedside lamp. “Hey baby, are you alright?”

Taron just shakes his head and comes closer, searching for his boyfriend. “I’m sorry. Got a new wave of sadness coming over me.”

“Can I do something for you?” Rich asks and grabs his hand carefully.

“Hold me please.” T whispers and crawls into Richard’s open arms. He curls up against his chest and holds him tight. Rich runs his fingers through his hair and he feels himself getting calm and he falls back asleep.

“It’s for five days, I’m gonna be back soon.” Richard says and holds Taron close in his arms. He’s heading off to LA for some organization stuff.

“Don’t want you to go.” T mumbles into his shoulder and holds him closer.

Richard presses a kiss into his hair. “I know, bub. And I’m sorry that I have to leave you alone now.” he wasn’t just sorry, he’s worried. Taron barely ate the last few days and needed help with everything. He completely sunk into a deep sadness after losing his best childhood friend.

Taron looks up at him with sad eyes. “I know.” he sighs and stands on his toes kissing Richard tenderly. “Take care, love.”

“I will.” Richard kisses him softly and grabs his neck. “Don’t forget to eat something and no smoking, you hear me?” he says and pulls back looking at him warningly.

“I’m not a baby, thank you.” T says a bit annoyed and rolls his eyes.

“I never said that, darling. But we both know you’re having a shitty time right now.” Rich explains and looks at his watch. Time to go. He grabs his suitcase and waits for Taron’s answer.

“Yeah I know. I’m fine I guess.” T sighs and folds his arms in front of his chest. He doesn’t want Richard to go because he’s right. Taron got nothing done by himself the last few days and he knows it.

Richard takes his hand and pulls him close. “I’m just worried about you okay? It’s not that I think you’re unable to do something on your own.”

“I know.” T pulls him into his arms and presses his nose against Richard’s. “Don’t worry, I’ll be okay. I’m gonna call you every day. I promise.”

Richard sinks into a long kiss and strokes his cheek. “Okay. I love you, bub.” he opens the door and steps out on the icy street.

“I love you too, angel eyes.” Taron says and smiles weakly. He’s gonna miss his boyfriend so much for those five days.

Five days later, Richard gets home and closes the door behind him. T looked tired and pale in all the video calls they had and Richard’s nerves were on edge because of it. As T didn’t react to his appearance, Richard walks up the stairs with a racing heart. Was he okay? He opens the door to their bedroom and finds him curled up in the blankets sleeping peacefully. Rich watches him in awe and walks over to him.

Taron wakes up when he recognizes Richard’s well known cologne next to him and smiles. “Hey, you’re back.” he mumbles a bit and grabs his hand lazily.

“Yeah.” Richard crawls in bed behind him and buries his face in his back. He’s tired and the jetlag sets in heavily.

“My tired baby.” T smirks and turns towards Richard. His fingers stroke back a single curl hanging in his boyfriend’s face and they go down to his full lips. “Wanna sleep a bit?”

Rich hums a yes and curls up in his arms and closes his eyes. He smells Taron’s sweet scent and feels his beating heart next to him. Rich listens to the sound of his breathing and slowly drifts off knowing this would be the deepest sleep he had in a week.

T strokes the back of his head and feels the cute un-styled curls under his fingers. He looks at Richard’s peaceful face and sees the jumper he’s wearing. It’s Tarons favorite and he gave it to Rich when he left. Taron can’t hide a wide smile and he watches him in awe. “God, I hope I’ll never lose you.” T whispers and presses a kiss to his forehead.

“You won’t.” Richard mumbles and opens his eyes. He kisses him softly and wraps his arms around him. They stay in bed cuddling for a while and enjoy being together again.

Richard watches Taron observantly while eating dinner. He wants to find out if Taron ate anything the last few days and his worries increase as T is eating really slowly and staring at it most of the time. “Are you okay? You’re barely eating anything.”

Taron looks up and smiles weakly. “I’m alright, just not that hungry.”

“Okay then.” Rich says and takes his glass of water.

T finishes his plate because he doesn’t want to worry his boyfriend. He feels his whole body protesting against it but still goes on.

After a while that they spent cuddling on the sofa, T lets out a moan and wraps his arms around his stomach. Rich looks down at him. “What’s wrong?”

“I feel sick.” he whines and buries his face in Richard’s chest. The pain in his stomach gets worse and he moans quietly.

Richard wraps his arms around him and watches him worriedly. So he was right, Taron didn’t eat anything at all. Now his stomach wasn’t used to food and protested against a full plate. “You’re gonna throw up?” Rich asks and softly rubs his arm.

“Don’t know.” T mumbles and hides in his chest.

“You wanna drink something?”

“No, I-.” Taron retches and jumps up, rushing to the bathroom.

Richard follows him slowly and finds him throwing up violently. He crouches down and rubs Taron’s back. “Let it out.” he sighs and rubs his face.

Taron stops and flushes it down. He pants and gets up slowly washing his hands and drinking some water. Without saying anything, he pulls Richard in an embrace and leans his head against his shoulder.

Richard softly rubs his back and looks down at him. “So, when were you gonna tell me that you didn’t eat anything the last few days?”

“I did.” T tries to convince him weakly and pulls back a bit.

“Don’t lie to me, Taron. You know I hate that!” Richard says with a warning look in his eyes.

“I know you worry about me, but I can take care of myself.” T groans and rolls his eyes while leaving the bathroom.

“Well you clearly can’t.” Rich says harshly but bites his lip afterwards immediately. He has to be careful with T at the moment and telling him what he is doing bad isn’t good at all.

“Wow. Fuck you.” Taron spits out and walks into the living room. He wipes away the tears from throwing up quickly and pulls down the sleeves of his hoodie.

“I’m sorry, T. I just think you’re unstable at the moment and need some comfort.” Richard admits and plays with his hands.

“Right, because comfort will make this better.” T says and walks outside towards their front door.

“Taron, I can’t help you if you don’t let me!” he groans and follows him closely.

Taron turns around and his eyes are brimming with tears again. “I. Don’t. Need. Your. Help.” his lips are trembling heavy. “I’m gonna go for a drive. Need to clear my head.” he says and his voice cracks while he grabs his jacket.

“Taron, please don’t do this.” Rich says and takes Taron’s jacket into his hands.

T has gotten paler the last couple of seconds and he’s shaking a bit. “Why? Am I not allowed to go outside anymore or what?” he asks angrily and walks past Richard. He needs to sit down somewhere and calm his sweating body and the dizziness he feels.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to drive a car when you’re upset. I can go upstairs if you want to be alone.” Rich suggests sadly and stares down at his hands before raising his head again.

“I’m gonna be ok-fuck.” Taron stumbles and tries to catch himself at the table but crashes on it fully. He groans and collapses onto the floor.

“Taron!” Rich shouts shocked and rushes over to his unconscious boyfriend. He turns him onto his back and pats his cheeks carefully. “Come on, wake up. Come back to me, T.”

Taron groans loudly and gasps for air when he gets back. “Wha-What happened?” he asks mumbling and presses one hand to his forehead. The world around him is turning a bit and his vision is full of black little dots.

“You passed out.” Richard says.

Taron can hear his boyfriend talking but can’t really see him. He gives in and closes his eyes while taking deep breaths. “I’m fucking dizzy.”

“Take your time.” Rich says low-voiced and grabs his hand and is squeezing it to show him he’s right by his side. They stay there for a while, both remaining silent. Richard’s throat is tight and he tries to calm his racing heart. The last few days were tough and now this happened. He really has to look after Taron better, like he should.

Taron sits up slowly and buries his head in his hands as he’s groaning. “Did I really pass out?” he asks and looks up.

“Mm.” Richard doesn’t even look him in the eyes, trying to hold back his own feelings and fears.

Taron hesitantly takes his hand into his and squeezes it slightly. “I didn’t want to scare you.” he whispers. “I knew you would be worried and that’s why I didn’t tell you that I haven’t eaten anything in a week.”

“Mm.” he just hums and blinks away the upcoming tears.

Taron lifts up Richard’s chin and looks into deep blue eyes that are filled with worry, sadness, and a hint of panic. “Rich?”

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry, I totally ignored how this is for you.” Taron hesitates shortly before he lays his hand on Richard’s cheeks and strokes it with his thumb. “I’m really sorry, love.”

“It’s okay.” he sighs and takes Taron’s hand to place a kiss on it. It is useless to argue about those things now, it would only push T deeper into his sadness. “You’re okay?”

“Yeah, but I just realized how uncomfortable our floor is to sit on.” T says and can’t stop himself from giggling shortly.

“You’re such a dumbass sometimes!” Rich chuckles and leans forward to kiss him. Their lips meet and Taron cups his face while Rich grabs his neck. “Let’s get you upstairs.”

“Only if you’re coming with me.” T mumbles into the kiss and Rich hums a yes.

They fall down on their bed while sharing needy kisses and holding each other closely. Soft moans from both cut through the silence and heavy panting as they roll around on the bed, fighting for the upper position. When Richard lies on top again, Taron wraps his legs around his waist and kisses him passionately. “You’re in for some make-up sex?” T asks cheekily before grabbing Richard’s ass shortly.

“We didn’t have a fight.” Richard chuckles and leaves kisses all over his face. He knows this won’t work because Taron was the kind of person that needed to feel something good after a shitty time.

“Don’t care.” T groans harshly and bites his lower lip.

“You’re sure?” Rich asks moaning a bit and kisses him tenderly.

“Mm.” Taron rolls them around and pushes himself up. He tugs at Richard’s sweatpants and pulls them down quickly.

“T, slow down.” Richard says but can’t hold back a moan when Taron’s lips meet his thigh and start sucking on it.

“I’m starving.” Taron groans and bites him softly before pulling down the boxers of his boyfriend.

“Well, I don’t think that I’m able to stop that with sex, darling.” Richard chuckles and shakes his head slightly.

“Wasn’t talking about food.” Taron smirks and takes Richard into his mouth. His tongue swirls around his cock and his hands grab his thighs. “Let me take care of you now.”

“Taron-oh God.” Rich groans and bucks his hips up as T starts to work on his dick. T knows exactly how to treat him and makes him lose his mind slowly. He tangles his fingers in Taron’s fluffy hair and his head falls back onto the pillow while a loud groan is escaping his lips. He squirms underneath Taron’s actions and gasps for air when he bites him.

Taron knows how to push Richard to his limit and enjoys doing exactly that. It was his way to apologize for all the mess he made the last days. Sliding his right hand under Richard’s shirt, he softly rubs his belly showing him how good he does. He feels his own cock aching and starts grinding his lap into the mattress trying to get some friction going.

Richard notices and stops him softly. “Just fill me and do it for both of us.”

T does as he says and they share hungry kisses moaning loudly into each other’s mouths. They come together in pure bliss and Taron collapses on him before pulling out completely. Richard cleans them both up before pulling him into the bathroom with him. They share a warm shower and slip into bed afterwards. After a while of cuddling, Taron looks up at him. “I’m sorry for everything that happened, Rich.”

Rich is running his fingers through Taron’s hair and stops. “Just like I said, it’s okay. We’re gonna do this together.” he presses a kiss to his forehead and pulls him closer.

Taron’s eyes shine with joy and he kisses his boyfriend. “I love you, angel eyes.”

“I love you too, bub.” Richard says and his deep blue eyes light up while coming closer to Taron’s. “I promise I’m gonna take care of you.” he whispers, smiling happily and presses his full lips on Taron’s while stroking the back of his neck.

“I know I’ll always be safe with you.” T whispers back and sinks into another kiss before curling up in Richard’s arms. He closes his eyes and feels good for the first time in a while. With his safe place right here, in his boyfriend’s arms, and all the love and understanding he needs. Taron knows it would be a really hard time for both of them, but Richard was right; they had to do it together instead of fighting or disagreeing.

“What are you thinking about?” Rich asks while smirking softly. recognizing how calm Taron got.

“That I’m fucking lucky to have you by my side. Never want this to end and I’m gonna do my best to keep you here with me.” T admits slowly and opens his eyes again. The soft look in it reminds Richard of a cute puppy.

“Stop worrying so much about us. I won’t go anywhere, love.” Richard says smiling and touches his nose with his own. “You’re stuck with me.”

“Sounds perfect.”


End file.
